Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the most developed leader of them all? Well, let’s find out, shall we?

This article is all about self-leadership, which influences everything around you, from your people to your company, strategy, and development. It’s basically the thing that determines how clearly you see, how calmly you act, and how consistently you grow.

The answer to achieving great self-leadership? The mirror and the window.

And no, we’re not talking specifically about your windshield or bathroom mirror, but rather what mirrors and windows can really represent: reflection and feedback. Together, these form the foundation of authentic self-leadership.

Enough of the preamble. Let’s get into it.

What Is Self-Leadership and Why Does it Matter?

Naturally, since we’re all human, every leader has blind spots. The issue is that without awareness, these blind spots can very easily become limits. With it, however, they can become levers for growth.

This is where self-leadership comes into play, which is the process of leading yourself before leading others. It’s the discipline of observation, reflection, choice, and gaining clarity and understanding of your own patterns. With these tools in your arsenal, you’ll uncover the habits that serve you and the ones that sabotage you.

Because, if you ask us, dear leader, nothing changes until awareness changes, which comes from two directions. The first is the mirror you hold up to yourself. The second is the window, which is how others perceive you.

The Leadership Mirror: Reflection and Pause

Your leadership mirror represents reflection, which is the ability to pause, observe, and learn from your own behavior.

In Self Development, we talk about the importance of slowing down to go faster. We also explore how creating space to see what’s happening is much more effective than reacting automatically. Because when leaders stop long enough to reflect, they move from impulse to intention.

This is where the mirror really comes in handy, as it helps us realize what’s driving our choices. Be it fear, purpose, habit, or something else.

Here are a few questions you can ask your mirror when you aren’t keen on your reaction to something negative or complicated at work:

• What exactly just happened there?
• Why did I respond that way?
• What does that reveal about what matters most to me?

And remember, it isn’t about judgment and criticizing yourself too harshly; it’s about curiosity. So, look at yourself honestly and ask whether your behavior matches your principles and values. This is where real self-leadership can start to evolve.

The Window: Feedback and Perspective

While the mirror gives you reflection, the window gives you perspective. Because, in the wild west of leadership, awareness is limited if it’s based only on self-observation. This is important to understand because we all have blind spots and areas we can’t see without help.

Through the window, you invite others to offer that help through feedback. It’s basically letting others in to see what you’ve missed, and taking what they say constructively instead of defensively. 

This helps you gain:

1. Clarity about how your behavior impacts others.
2. Competence in listening without defensiveness.
3. Character by acting on what you hear.

These all shape something called relational awareness, which is understanding how your leadership is experienced by the people you lead. This helps you improve yourself and gives permission for others to do the same.

Discover a Place Where Mirror and Window Meet

True self-leadership lives in the space between the mirror and the window, and between inner reflection and outer feedback.

If you only use the mirror, you risk introspection without perspective. And if you only use the window, you risk reacting to everyone else’s view without anchoring in your own. So, it’s all about balance, which is where growth really happens.

By using both tools to your advantage, you can turn self-awareness into alignment. This means learning to slow down before you speed up, to listen before you act, and to integrate what you see into how you lead. Doing so will ripple through every other lever in your business, from how you develop people to how you bolster systems, clarify strategy, and build future leaders.

Final Thoughts

Self-leadership might sound like the moment of Zen before the credits roll, and you sail off into the sunset. But it’s not quite the destination.

Instead, it’s a continuous cycle of reflection, feedback, adjustment, and renewal. You’ll get better at it the more you practice it, which will help you make light work of mirrors and windows alike. This will help you lead yourself more effectively, and by extension, everyone around you.

Find Out More

If you’re going to be a better leader, you need to know what to get better at. That’s what our Leadership Insights Scorecard is all about. Answer some simple questions, and you’ll get personalized leadership scores and insights the 5 Levers of Leadership™: People Development, Company Development, Self Development, Strategy Development, and Leadership Development. (This can only be as honest as your answers are, so don’t hold back.) Remember, self-leadership starts with you.